My Dad

My dad is not a perfect man.  He might curse a bit much, and maybe on occasion enjoys beer a bit much, and Lord knows he has a temper (I was wild as a teenager and was the recipient of that more than once!). 

 

But he's a man that cares deeply about his family. My biological father never wanted me. Folks have said differently at times over the years, but it's a little hard to believe when he left my mother when I was just a couple of months old and I've only seen him twice in my life. But my dad not only married my mom, but he also accepted my sister and me as his own.  He even formally adopted us and gave us his name. Blood never mattered much; I was his son and he loved me. Nothing was more natural.

He also took my aunts and my grandmother into our house at a bad time in their lives.  There was never any hesitation or regret. They are family and he will protect and provide for the family.  That continued in later years when he took a year of his life to build an apartment for my grandmother.  She just could not live in her house after my grandfather died, so Daddy packed up and headed to Alabama.  He built that apartment by hand and basically by himself.  Sure, I helped occasionally and so did a lot of people.  But day in and day out, it was my dad that was swinging a hammer.  Again, it's not blood that counts because it was my mom's mother and her sisters that Daddy was providing for.

My Dad also taught me to be a man. There was never a big speech or formal lessons, but it was in the way he carried himself with honor.  He passed those standards to me in so many ways. One specific thing that sticks out in my mind was when I was being picked on by a couple of bullies and I was 10 or 11. One of them finally called me out to fight at the baseball fields after school.  I went home and sat in my room, scared and crying.  My dad came into my room to ask what was wrong and I finally told him.  I don't remember the exact words he used, but the gist was: "You may get your butt kicked. You may win in this fight. But either way, you WILL stand". He even drove me to the fight just in case things got out of hand and also to let me know that he was there for me. But in the end, I had to stand up to my problems on my own and face my demons as a man.

He also gave me one of my greatest life lessons. I was worried about being genetically hamstrung with being the offspring of my biological father. I was married and wondering what kind of father I would be and if I was doomed to fail. It's been said before, but there was some additional weight coming from a person that willingly took on a woman with two kids in tow. What he said to me was: "Any idiot with functioning genitalia can be a father. It takes a man to be a dad".

No, my dad is not a perfect man. He has his flaws, idiosyncrasies, and faults.  But in every moment of my life, he has made his stand and lived in honor. My dad is a man. And in that, he is perfect.